No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I came so hard my ears popped.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
