i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
