you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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