i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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