dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
