You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I came so hard my ears popped.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
