Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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