Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
