Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Randomize
