they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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