you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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