she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
