Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize