I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
