it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
