they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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