Your favorite bartender is back from prision
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
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