ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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