i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
