Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
