i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
