Sober January is a disaster.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Randomize
