Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
