oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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