i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
he thought i was a dude.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
