I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
