Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
