my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
