Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
