I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
