Do you still have your period?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
