We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize