When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
