hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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