girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
