I accidentally had phone sex last night
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
