How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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