lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
