Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
