It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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