some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
