i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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