whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
