If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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