Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize