I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
