im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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