this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
farters have to be the big spoon...
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Come see our sink grown plant.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Randomize
