yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
pray to the hookup gods
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
