Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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