Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
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