Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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