before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
