Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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